Category: submission


Stephanie Brown: So, how’d it go staying with Kon’s family?

Tim Drake: It was great. I mean they’re just such a nice… I don’t want to use the word “family” because they all like each other, but they’re such a nice group of people.


Jason Todd: Bruce, did I ruin your life?

Bruce Wayne: Oh, is this about that billboard Tim and Damian put up? [looks out at billboard that says Red Hood out of Gotham. Vote yes on 104. A simulated Red Robin and Robin kicking Red Hood out.]

Jason Todd: No. The voters will decide that in November.


Barbara Gordon: [trying to sleep] Why are you poking me with your single stick?

Damian Wayne:
I’m prodding the sheets in order to determine whether or not my brother is in there with you.


Clark Kent: You’re kidding!

Bruce Wayne:
That’s me, Clark, joke machine.


Dick Grayson: [trying to get an invading army of aliens to leave Earth] Look at these people. These human beings. Consider our potential. From the day we arrive on the planet, and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- No hold on. Sorry, that’s The Lion King. But the point still stands! Leave us alone!


Jason Todd: Look, I won’t tell Bruce about this, just get on with your lives.

Colin Wilkes: Thanks, Skunk.

Damian Wayne: Why did you call him that?

Colin Wilkes: ‘Cos of the white streak of his hair.

Jason Todd: [groans]


Stephanie Brown: But I’m a good cook! You all ate those brownies I brought in last week.

Jason Todd: I thought they were erasers.

Stephanie Brown: Dick said he loved them.

Dick Grayson: I’m a textbook people-pleaser. It’s a serious problem.


Damian Wayne: I am a ninja assassin. The silent killer. My victims never know I’m coming ‘cos I don’t say a word, they look around and don’t see anything so they drop their guard and what they don’t realize is that I’m lurking in the shadows silently watching! [laughs loudly]

Jason Todd: Yeah. You are very quiet.


Dick Grayson: I’m telling you this lie detector is broken. Ask me a question.

Bruce Wayne: Is Jay-Z really your favorite artist?

Dick Grayson: Yes, obviously.

Tim Drake: [observing the lie detector] Lie.

Dick Grayson: See? It’s busted.

Bruce Wayne: Is it? Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?

Dick Grayson: No.

Tim Drake: [observing the lie detector] Lie.

Dick Grayson: Alright, fine, it is! She makes me feel things.

Bruce Wayne: She makes all of us feel things!


Barbara Gordon: Bruce, I know you’re on a team with Dinah too, but you don’t know her like I do. She’s too trusting for her own good. She’s fallen for more Nigerian scams than Hal Jordan.

Bruce Wayne: She’s fallen for twenty Nigerian scams?!

Barbara Gordon: Twenty?! That’s insane. No, she’s fallen for two. Hal’s fallen for twenty?!